First Day as a Fantasy Major

Diary of a student’s first day in pursuit of a Fantasy Basketball degree.

10:00 – My first class is taught by the head of the department, Prof. Loomer. He tells us about himself. Should I be taking notes?

10:30 – Prof. Loomer lists the traits of successful fantasy gurus:
“… trust yourself …”
That’s me.
“… think outside the box …”
“… create opportunities if they are not perceived to be there …”
Me also.
“… You may need to start out offering your services for free …”
Um, I’ll get back to you on that.

10:48 – Prof. Loomer lays down some cardboard and performs his breakdance routine. Eat your heart out, Mr. Schneebly!

11:00 – At the library to copy Prof. Loomer’s recommended reading. This’ll take a while…

12:26 – Food fight at the cafeteria. My eye! I’m not supposed to get pudding in it!

1:30 – Regained my sight just as Prof. Kettner puts up his Shooting Guard Rankings.

2:00 – Our TA gives us a take-home test, due at the end of the week. At least it’s multiple choice, and top marks get you a FREE Rotowire subscription. Only 30 openings left!

3:15 – Got lost on my way to Prof. Velasco’s Theory of Draft Positioning. Arrived in time to write down why Gerald Wallace is like a gassy Scarlett Johansson.

4:04 – Prof. Nels hands out a copy of his Mock Draft Round Up. I have to memorize this?!

5:17 – Back in my dorm room, in the fetal position. When will it be summer again?


2 thoughts on “First Day as a Fantasy Major

  1. No picture of my girl Scarlett? Shocking… shame on you Jeff!

    All kidding aside, thanks for the scoop on places to study up for fantasy hoops this season. You just gave away any edge you had built up over the summer… sucker!! 🙂

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