If Cars Were NBA Players

Have you ever seen a Chevy Trailblazer or Cavalier go by and wonder, “Are there more of those cars registered to Portland and Cleveland residents than elsewhere?” I do. (OT – It would be great to see statistics on this.) Then I realize there are other cars that remind me of basketball.

How do some of these vehicles compare to their NBA counterparts?

Chevy Trailblazer = Greg Oden, Portland
Like the down-to-earth, personable young Oden, the SUV is “smooth, comfortable and civilized.” Portland fans hope that the center is similarly capable of hauling heavy loads and negotiating rough terrain.


Chevy Cavalier = David Wesley, Cleveland
Compact, affordable and handles decently, but just plain falling apart.


Toyota Matrix = Shawn Marion, Phoenix Suns
Similarities: cool, compact SUV (like an undersized power forward?)
Difference: “the promise of faithful service” – Anyone who’s read Seven Seconds or Less would doubt that.


Kia Rondo = Rajon Rondo, Boston Celtics
Smaller than some in its class and a relative unknown. Big doors versus big hands?


Ford Edge = Chris Bosh, Toronto Raptors
(For those of you who don’t know, the Raptors website has been running a contest with the prize being a Raptorized Edge.) It was tempting to compare the Edge with TJ Ford, but Bosh fits much better. A sporty utility that needs to improve its braking power, i.e., rein in his nervous energy during the playoffs.


1969 Dodge Charger = David Lee, New York Knicks
The General Lee – A throwback with that ’70s styling.


Subaru Outback = Andrew Bogut, Milwaukee Bucks
One has an Australian name but actually hails from another country. The other is sorta reversed.


(For a slightly different look, see this post on The Score.)


6 thoughts on “If Cars Were NBA Players

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