By Jeff Wong
Many people have complained about how dry the NBA draft lottery is. Having sat down and watched it this year, I completely agree with them. Bill Simmons deserves full credit for making chicken stew from this chicken poo.
Here’s my stab at some highlights:
* The 2007 Draft Lottery is presented in high definition – why?
* Jay Bilas comments on the superstars of this draft, namely Greg Oden and Kevin Durant. Said an enthusiastic Bilas: “Oden’s got great hands and he’s got both of them now.” It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true.
* Bilas also calls Oden a “prototype” center. Did he mean “original” or “standard”? And if the latter, does such a center have the same impact in today’s NBA?
* A rather stiff-looking Joel Litvin gets the ping-pong balls rolling in some room in Secaucus. How ’bout adding some flash by moving the production to the set of the New York Lottery, hosted by Yolanda Vega?
* David Stern gets interviewed. He’s got this giddy energy tonight, like my four-year-old on half a pack of M&Ms. He again calls this year’s draft one of the best ever.
* What a question! Randy Foye and Brandon Roy are sitting next to each other, and are asked how things would’ve gone had Foye been kept by the Blazers, and vice versa. Of course they say the diplomatic thing, but I’d think Foye would’ve been better off with the Blazers. Portland’s obviously on the rise, while Minnesota’s record has been freefalling since 2004.
* The results: Boston drops to fifth. Somewhere, Bill Simmons just threw up on his Dad.
* Back from commercial break, a camera catches the reaction of a stunned fan whose mouth has been hanging open the past 2 1/2 minutes. Ladies and gentlemen, your new Celtics mascot!
* Atlanta gets the third pick. Pack your bags, Corey Brewer. You’re perfect for Billy Knight’s all-swingmen lineup.
* Seattle gets second. Boy do Sonics fans need that after the past year.
* Portland lands the first overall pick. Amazing! Looks like Henry Abbott’s girl-headed butterfly did the trick. Those pointy pipecleaner parts must’ve been handy for threatening Litvin, too.